oh god ! is that her ?
They said she was dumb, rude, a girl with a bad attitude. A girl who only brought trouble. A girl from whom we needed to stay away. They didn’t see any of these in her, they just said it. Because, if they had seen who she really was, from her heart, these words would have been meaningless.
Judging every other person that we come across in our lives, just by looking at their appearance or by the way they talk or from some random situation that we see them in, isn’t new to us, is it ? We have been doing that. We did it then so, we do it now too.
She rarely comes to class; she hardly takes interest in discussions; she doesn’t contribute to the group work. She is only a pain. “Complaints” from every one possible, from those who knew her and even from those who didn’t. But why? Was it because she was not like those cool girls type or was it because she was not one of those pretty ones?
She was just like any other girl, shy at times, afraid of trying new things, sweet, mean when have to be, lazy, but what people didn’t know was she was the most sportive girl. Though she was hurt by many in many ways, her attitude of taking everything sportively was her biggest strength.
Yes, she didn’t care about her marks, she missed most of the classes, and she was a trouble to her classmates. But why was she like that? Was that the real her? Or was she made to become like that?
Nobody cared to know why she behaved that way, what her real problem was? Instead they just sticked on to the easy part “complaining”.
Complaining has always been the easiest thing to do. What most of us forget is that, this complaining is not going to take us anywhere. Because if we want a change, we need to change first.
All these unwanted hatred towards her, made her into someone she barely knew. She lost her way and soon she lost herself. This only increased the complaining part of it. But finally when they were tired and stopped, she had already turned into that person, they were complaining all along, to everyone’s eyes.
If we lose ourselves, it’s quite difficult to find our way back. That’s why it’s always said that, we need to be careful with our choices and chance that we wish to take in our lives. But if we lose our way and become someone that we ourselves didn’t appreciate, and had turned into that person because of others choices, then we have every right to fight back and take stand of our own life. If we don’t do it then no one will do it for us. It’s quite simple, it’s your life, live it the way you want to.
When all the complaining and humiliation went out of limit, it led her to depression, she began to hate herself, hate that part of her, which did not exist in her but was created by others. I agree, her laziness and carefree attitude irritated them and was not quite acceptable after certain point, but humiliating her for that was not the solution. Maybe a few caring words and a chance to change would have helped her.
One of the biggest mistake we all tend to do is, when we have a problem with someone’s attitude or with their actions, we don’t give our suggestion or tell them what we feel about it or them in a caring way, instead we end up doing either of the 2 –
Get angry, hate them and humiliate them or
Ignore them as though they don’t exist.
Some reaction for the action, whether equal or opposite is always better than no reaction at all. There is a chance of someone changing because of even the constant disagreements, when there is no motivation for them to change. I know some of you may not agree with this but I have seen people change like this and so did she.
There came a day when everyone noticed that she had changed. Changed to be a better person. Someone who would be respected. Someone whose words would be taken seriously. But the truth was she was still the same person who she was before - shy, scared, sweet, lazy… she didn’t change herself, she never had to, instead she made others see the real her by changing their perspective about her.
The constant humiliation and complaints against her, motivated her to stand up for herself and show the world that she was not what they thought she was. She was a much better person. She was urged to prove that their judgment about her, made merely based on her looks, accent, clothing etc. wrong.
Soon, everyone began to see the new her, at least she appeared new to them. She was someone with vision, passion, and knowledge. Someone completely contrast to what she was before.
She was a girl with lot of courage, motivation, and that fire in the heart to achieve something phenomenal and make a mark in this world.
But the “new she” did not fall from the sky. It was always within her, but they had failed to see it. And even if they do now, they somehow want to believe that they were the reason for it.
We can come across many people like her, undergoing such peer pressure and fighting to take a stand of their own lives. But the sad part is not everyone has the strength that she had, to with stand everything and prove them wrong. Some make it, few try to, but many give up.
There is always a need for us to keep in mind that our thoughts and actions not only affect us but also the people around us. Making pre judgments about somebody, calling them names, making fun of their appearances etc. do not make us a good person or a person better than them. Any such actions will just make us bad and guilty, because mostly it will be us, who not only have to live with that shame but also would have lost a good friend.